Honoring Transitions

School is coming to a close for the year and my kids will be home for the summer. I had this great thought to write about the concept of "snippets of self care" because so many of us both work and have our kids home over the summer. Our time to ourselves might become so limited and having the patience and time for handling it all could decrease. So we need quicker ways to calm and settle ourselves when we're in it with the kids. That was my thought. But then I noticed a heaviness, a longing to cry. What was going on? And then it came to me. An ENDING was what was going on.

This is the last week of my nearly five year old's time in a lovely home day care. He went from a super clingy not quite two year old we never thought we could leave with anyone else to a confident kid with many friends. So yes, there's that. Also, side note, tears are currently falling down my face. I think too about how this feels like a closure on my kids being little. Both of mine went to in home daycares and when we left their first one because we were moving from Colorado to Nebraska it felt like the hardest thing about leaving. We have landed into two little families who took our kids in and loved them up. And while I am so excited and proud of my youngest for this growing up, this transition into what's next, I feel all the feels.

I remember what I said to my now husband as I was ending graduate school, something taught me at the university I attended. "Honor the transition." And that's what the heaviness I'm feeling in my body may be signaling me to do. My body is begging me to feel, hold, listen, and tune in. Something amazing has happened in your young one's life. Take a moment. Breathe. Remember. Cry. Smile. Tune in to what is being asked. I'm taking the time now to feel. I hope you find the time to honor all the transitions you have going on in your life right now.

Maybe next week we can talk about how you get through the summer. ;)

My Life Is So Busy - How Do I Find Any Time For Myself?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what is truly nourishing to me, and in turn asking others what nourishes them.  Moments of true nourishment seem hard to find as a parent, so when they do occur, I relish them. I find I want them even more, which started me thinking about little ways to nourish myself in a busy, hectic day.  For example, having a cup of tea mid-afternoon, or taking a lavender bubble bath in the candlelight in the evening.  As I further explored nourishment in my life, I found that coloring while my son colors is a small piece of nourishment too.  I also found that asking my husband what nourishes him was a fun date day conversation.

Because I am a therapist for children and young teens, parents are most often waiting for their child outside my door. Knowing how hard it is to sneak in time for nourishment, I love offering these parents a cup of tea to sip on while they wait.  Parenting is a full-on job, and if I can support a snippet of self-care while they wait, I want to do that.  This calls to mind something I have heard repeatedly, and also have experienced to be true for myself, that unless we, as parents, are taking care of and nourishing ourselves, we simply can’t be as present to our children as they need us to be. While we may want to make being present to our children a priority, we might find it challenging to do in our busy, over scheduled world.

If you are trying to figure out how to take more time for yourself, you can start small.  Focus on what nourishes you by starting with a simple list of 5-10 small things you find nourishing.  Share it with others and begin to ask friends and family to share what they find nourishing. This can be a unique way to connect with others.  Then try to incorporate one new item from your list each week, or even each month if that seems more feasible to you.

In this busy holiday season, the idea of doing this may seem impossible. Perhaps you are feeling consumed by your child’s personal struggles.  Perhaps you are finding that you need some support to support your child better.  Please outreach me to learn about the services I provide to families through parenting sessions and individual sessions for your child or young teen.